I remember one afternoon, I drove onto Presidio in Monterey, CA to pick Blake up from his class. I was brand new to the world of "military spouse" and green to the "expectations" of a service member in uniform. No sooner did Blake get in and I shifted into drive when the dashboard clock clicked to 4. "Stop the car," he spoke with military certainty. Being in the middle of the road, I hesitated, but then placed the car into park. He got out of the car and stood at parade rest while Retreat was played, then he drew to attention and saluted as the National Anthem rang over the loud speakers. The sight of him in his blues saluting sent chills through me and brought tears into my eyes. Four years later, this thought still finds me and leaves a lump in my throat. There is a reel in my mind that plays out moments that are so surreal, uncanny; vivid images that you almost feel guilty witnessing. They are so personal. Emotions worn on the sleeves of our service members as they salute a flag, say goodbye to family, say hello to family, grieve for their friend, fight for their lives and except the only gift we can give them--a "thank you for your service." Meek in comparison; we thank, they fight. They fight for us, they fight for peace, they fight back tears, they fight the guilt of family left behind in their wake, they fight against what they want and what they are called upon to do, they fight loss, they fight pain, with interrupted lives they fight on. As a few of the people in my life prepare to deploy for their next fight, my heart swells. Blake and Brent serve proudly and for that I am humbled by the unselfish act. I have bared witness to the eyes of someone preparing to deploy; widows to the soul, yet I see not their own soul, but the ones saved. A choice, a moment in life where they chose to leave the ones they love for the ones they don't know. A moment of chivalry, a moment of strength and hope for a world united, just one moment. And although I hate the moments that my family is away and the moments that inhabit my mind as "good-bye's for now", I am thankful for that one moment; being proud of a life interrupted.
3 comments:
Sam, you are so great at expressing what we all think about. I remember a moment similar to this one you described. In fact, tears filled my eyes as I thought of that moment this morning as the star spangled banner played at school. I will keep you and Blake in my prayers as he deploys, and you cross the threshold from the civilian world into military life.
Love you both!
Christina
Sam,
You and Christina are part of a select sorority that the rest of us can't fully understand. How charactersitic of you that you mention only the sacrifice of others while yours is also so great. While it's true that "they also serve who only stand and wait," today you are taking your service to a much more personal level, and we are so proud of you! It will be some time before you'll be able to read this, but I hope you'll sense how much you and Blake are in our thoughts and prayers. We love you!
sacrifice like yours and Blake's almost makes me ashamed
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